50 Things To Do Before I’m 50
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The Countdown Starts Today.
Welcome to the Blog of a Menopausal Mother (aged 48 1/2). Thank you for joining me!
So, today is 20th May 2019. Which means that in precisely 18 months time it will be my 50th birthday. Which is either pretty depressing, pretty terrifying or pretty bloody awesome – it depends which way you look at it. At the moment I’m very much rooted in the first two categories, but I’m hoping that come 20th November 2020 I shall be firmly ensconced in the latter. How is that going to happen, you may ask yourself? Well, dear reader this is where my Bucket List kicks. (Although for future purposes I think I’ll just call it my List – sounds a lot less closer-to-death).
Yes, between now and 19th November 2019 I plan to compile a list of 50 activities do in my 50th year to help ensure I celebrate this landmark birthday with positivity, gratitude, a sense of adventure, lashings of style and more than a soupcon of gin.
So over the next few days/weeks/months I shall be compiling my list of 50 things. Please do feel free to add comments and suggestions – maybe based on your own personal experiences? One word of warning however: although I will be setting myself challenges this is not going to be some kind of Bear Grylls adventure journal nor do I anticipate completing any marathons/triathlons/assault courses between now and my birthday. However if you’re a fan of food, drink, families and fun times stay tuned. Oh, and if you spot any typos or grammatical errors please tell me. One must maintain standards 🙂
23. See More Bands
I love live music. I always have. The moment I could afford to see bands I did … Wham, Aha, Duran Duran. And then when I went to Uni I couldn’t believe my luck when my grant came through – I went to a gig a month! I lived on beans on toast for 3 years but I got to see Nirvana, Blur, Pulp and Oasis and many more 🙂
After that it was festivals – Glastonbury, Reading, V Festival and more – where I saw New Order, REM, Pixies, The Chemical Brothers, The Happy Mondays, The Charlatons, The Manic Street Preachers, The Cranberries and a gazillion more I can’t remember (the cider was particularly strong in the 90s). Big regret is that I never saw The Smiths or The Stone Roses though.
And then al0ng came married life and kids and the gigs became few and far between. I still listen to a wide variety of music all the time and so do my girls, which is great. In fact the teen dragged me to a brilliant gig last year where we go to see Lewis Capaldi, Rita Ora, The Script, Jax Jones … all were amazing.
The one band I have always wanted to see – that are still going – however has been Snow Patrol. So last year I persuaded my Uni friends (yep, we’re still in touch!) to trek to Glasgow with me for the TRANSMT festival where they were headlining. Amazing! Until they had to cancel due to injury 😦 Utterly gutted. The sun did shine and we saw George Ezra and Lewis Capaldi (he gets around a bit that boy) and they were brilliant (genuinely) but I still have Snow Patrol to tick off my list. And I’m hoping one or two more in 2020 too.
Number 23. Go Salsa Dancing
Ooo, now I love a bit of Latin. I think being a lifelong Strictly fan may have helped. Mr and I were actually in the audience once (the night Mark Foster removed his shirt – it’s imprinted on my brain. And Craig was just a big softie really). Anyway, I always thought I’d be ok at a little bit of salsa – until I actually went to a salsa club for a friend’s 30th and realised I was actually atrocious. Worse that that I seemed to have had a rhythm by-pass and was utterly unable to dance a step. Mortifying.
So, I would like to try and see if I really am as abysmal as I remember or whether there may be a sliver of salvation. The goal is a salsa class – with the snake-hipped Mr P of course – and to take it from there. I haven’t thrown away the sequins just yet 🙂
Number 22. Go to the Cinema. Alone.
Now this is a nice simple one. Go to the cinema alone. I adore films but to be honest rarely go to the cinema because we’re just so, well, busy. Plus to go as a family requires a small fortune once you’ve factored in drinks, popcorn, cuddly toy etc. So we tend to save it for special treats and movies that we ALL want to see. Harry Potter, Avengers etc. And then on the rare occasions that Mr P and I are able to go on our own, we can never agree and end up seeing something NO ONE wants to see. The joys of married life 🙂
So I have never been to the cinema alone. Not even as a student, which some of my friends used to do. And then when I had a family I’ve always felt it was a bit selfish going off and not taking anyone with me. And to be honest, I’m not actually sure I’d enjoy it as I don’t like seeing things on my own as I have no one to talk to about it afterwards!! However, being an independent woman and all that I think it should be on my bucket list. Be brave Samantha …
Number 21. Make Gin
Now, if you follow my Instagram account you already may know this, I am rather partial to the odd gin and tonic. As is Mr P. We are no way near connoisseurs but have tried some rather splendid ones over the past few months. Orange, blackberry, raspberry … all very lovely so I wondered if I could create my own concoction. I did try rhubarb this year and initially it was lovely but then went a bit weird, so this time I am to make something much more quaffable. So if anyone has any recipes please do share them!
Number 20. Grow More Veg
We bought a second hand greenhouse a few years ago and have dabbled with it, alongside our veggie patch for a few years. But last year we really went for it. Thanks to Mr P diligently watering the seeds (he’s much better than me) we had a great crop – tomatoes, peppers, chilli peppers, green beans, herbs, lettuce – which meant we had fresh salads for most of the summer. Lush. So this year I plan to do it again – perhaps with a few new crops – and see if we can really can live The Good Life 🙂
Number 19. Start a Journal
I used to write a diary. When I was a teenager I kept one for years. In fact I still have some in the garage – I’ll get them out someday and be mortified at all my teenage angst!
Last year I bought the Dawn French book ‘Me, You, A Diary’ to get me started. And it has sat by my bed for 12 months. This year I am toying with the idea of a Bullet Journal as I think they look great. One or the other – I WILL do it this year!
Number 18. Make my Girls Proud of Me
My gorgeous girls. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them.
Becoming a mum is without a doubt the best thing that ever happened to me. Qualifications, promotions, career … all pale into insignificance compared to bringing these two into the world. But bringing them into the world is the easy part. Bringing them up is the hard part.
I have always been a working mum. I had a good job (several in fact) and always worked full-time, often long hours. Nursery and kids’ club was the norm and we benefitted enormously from having two sets of fabulous grandparents to help out. I thought this set up would continue, but then I was made redundant. For the 3rd time in my career. And I got to spend a bit of time with my girls during the day – walking them to school (well, the one that wasn’t too embarrassed to be seen with me anyway) and back again. Hearing all about their day, doing snacks and homework, taking them to clubs and having their friends round. And I realised how much I missed out on being away from home for 12 hours a day. How rushed our evenings and weekends were. How stressed I was with housework and house admin. How I beat myself up everyday for missing assemblies and sports days, and forgetting PE kits, money for school trips and ingredients for Cookery.
I kept on applying for similar jobs but was getting nowhere. Being the wrong side of 45 was not doing me any favours. My ‘decades of experience’ didn’t really seem to be wowing future employers. By then Mr P had accepted a good contract and life was a little more stable so I made the decision to go it alone – set up my own business. Fast forward to now and I have a few lovely clients and a part time lecturing role. I spend time with the girls every day and am so much more involved in the daily aspects of their lives. I’m very aware that they are growing up fast and this won’t last long so I am cherishing it while I can.
Unfortunately the downside is I’m earning way less that I used to. We’re luckier than most but have had to cut back on a lot, which has meant a few changes for the girls. In addition, it has also meant that I’m not really sure if I’m a role model to them any more. I always wanted to make them proud – to show them that women in the workplace can achieve anything if they worked hard. They are strong and sassy and feisty …. I’m just not sure that their mum is any more. I’ve lost my way a bit.
So, in essence, this goal is about finding me again. The sassy, confident me who managed multi-million pound budgets and teams of 20. I want to do something that makes them proud. It might be academic, charitable, financial – I have no idea. But hopefully I will find it 🙂
Number 17. Run a 5k
Now, I know that this is completely at odds with post Number 16, but I’m not losing my marbles (well, not completely anyway). I am fully aware that I will actually need to run in a 5k race, and to actually do some training too that is also likely to include ‘running’. What I mean by not being a runner is that I can’t see myself pounding the pavements on a regular basis (although, who knows? Never say never :-)) however I would like to get myself fit enough to run a 5k race.
Also, in 2019 both my beloved mom and a dear friend were diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis for both is good but, it’s been very tough for them. Over the years I have lost too many close friends and family friends to the disease. So this year I have promised to take part in the Race for Life to a) support my friend who will also be running it and b) try and raise a bit of cash. It’s the least I can do.
Number 16. Find my Fitness
Now I have a confession to make. I take my health for granted, terribly. I just assumed that because I was fairly active and ate fairly healthily everything would always be ok. Then when things stopped working as well as they should I had a bit of a rethink. I can’t just make those assumptions any more, I need to actively do something about it.
So my goal is to establish a routine that works for me before my birthday. I don’t think I will ever be a runner – I have many friends who have taken it up and adore it but I’m not sure it’s for me. I do like to walk however, and I garden when I can. I like to swim (short distances), I like a bit of weight training, I like pilates and really enjoyed yoga when I did it years ago. So that is what I’m building on. I need to find MY fitness. Something that will stop me ceasing up or falling apart, something to improve my confidence and energy levels, something to make me feel good.
Any suggestions are most welcome!
Number 15. Get Something Published
You know the saying that everyone has a book inside them? Well, over the years I think I may have had two or three …. but I just can’t get them out. It’s my own fault – I’m not focused, dedicated or disciplined enough. And I have huge admiration for anyone that is. I did get a poem published in an Oxfam anthology about 20 years ago but that is about it. I’d like to think I might still get around to it … become an overnight success aged 80 🙂 In the meantime, however, I have set a goal of getting something – anything! – published. It could be an article, journal post, poem, business post, anything. I just need to do it. Watch this space ….
50 Things To Do Before I Hit 50 