Devoted mother, woeful wife, loyal BFF, hard-working business owner. Facing menopausal madness as I count down to the Big 5-0. Help me create my 50 Things To Do Before I'm 50 Bucket list .. and then follow me as I try to achieve it!
Yes, I have a burning desire to receive a ‘shout out’ on the radio (I’m assuming that is what it is still called? It was when I listened to Radio 1 in the ’80’s). It’s less about Radio 1 these days however (unless I am taxi-ing Daughter #1 and her pals) and it’s all about Radio 2 for me. It all started with Drive-time with Chris Evans and Simon Mayo but now it’s very much about the ladies. Zoe Ball, Sara Cox, Jo Whiley – the holy trinity of blonde DJs. Love them.
Zoe in the morning if I’m off to work, Sara on the way home or when I’m pottering in the kitchen and Jo when I’m working late or still pottering in the kitchen. Is there anywhere better to listen to the radio than in the kitchen? Pootling about getting tea ready, washing up, or just hiding from the family (only joking). G&T or glass of wine in hand. With a soundtrack provided by the delectable Ms Cox or Ms Whiley.
And of course there’s the Friday Night kitchen disco. When the girls were little it was our start to the weekend. Crazy dancing in the kitchen on a Friday evening. Now it’s just me and the dog. To be honest, she’s probably the better dancer.
I’ve never had a ‘dedication’ on the radio. I was once mentioned indirectly by Sally Traffic when my Rover 25 caused a 10 mile tailback when it broke down on junction 6 of the M5 but I’m not counting that. So any mention from the lovely Jo, Sara, or Zoe at some point before or even on (imagine! I could die happy) my birthday would be marvellous. Let’s hope Mr P is taking note.
I eat fairly well. I love to cook. I cook most meals from scratch, I try not to eat much processed food. I eat fish and seafood and try to always eat fresh. I gave up meat over 30 years ago, but I could still do better. There is so much choice now for vegetarians and vegans so my goal is to:
a) Eat more fresh vegetables and fruit every day.
b) Introduce more varied ingredients.
c) Eat more plant based meals (for the whole family!) every week.
d) Plan meals better so we still eat well even when I’m working late.
So, I like clothes. I have lots of them. And that’s the problem. I don’t really buy clothes any more, but I am stuck in a clothes rut. I wear the same things on rotation – and leave about 90% of my wardrobe untouched. So here’s the goal:
1. Review my existing wardrobe (and drawers and storage) and have a proper clear out. Not the half-arsed one I have every spring or winter. Get rid of the stuff that will never fit me, no longer suits me (boot leg jeans anyone?), is no longer necessary (I work mainly from home – how many suits do I need??) and the stuff I should never have bought in the first place (what was I thinking???). Then either give it away (hoorah! Good vibes all around) or try and sell it (double hoorah! Much needed extra income). It’s a win-win.
2. Having reduced my wardrobe to nice clothes that fit me, suit me and are suitable for my daily existence I can then start to plan some new outfits. Step out of my comfort zone. Wear my wardrobe again. Stop being so boring.
It all sounds marvellous doesn’t it? Except I know it will be tortuous which is why I always put it off. Wish me luck 🙂
A nice easy one. Go back to donating blood again. I always used to, then I had a tattoo, and a baby and another tattoo, then another baby. No excuses now though! I just need to get on with it.
Now,I love reading. I LOVE it. Every night before I go to bed I read a few s before turning in. On holiday I can plough through a good 3 or 4 novels (thank God for the invention of the Kindle! It saved my baggage allowance :-D). The only problem is the diversity of the books that I am reading.
I seem to have a stash of easy to read thrillers/crime stories as my go-to staples and have had for a while. And whilst of them have been amazing (Gone Girl, Appletree Yard, Girl on Train, the Harry Hole series…) I don’t really think I am challenging myself any more.
I would like to set a target of ticking of at least 5 books of a list of classics that I haven’t yet read PLUS to expose myself to some new fiction that I wouldn’t normally read.
So I apparently I have worn a bikini. There is photographic evidence. Aged 17 on my last family holiday in Spain I flashed my tummy to the world. And then never wore one again. Looking back at these pics all I see is a slim, young girl with pale skin and natural red hair (before I dyed the life out it!) but written on the back of one of these pictures is the comment ‘Look at my belly!’.
It’s ridiculous I know and I am not going to dwell on but that’s the way it has been for the past 30 years. I wore swimsuits at all times or a two piece with a T-shirt. I was beside myself with the invention of the tankini 😀
I am a total sun-worshipper (admittedly the only tan I ever get is when my freckles join up and I turn orange) but my tummy has never seen the light of day. I have tried – I really have. I have bought bikinis and taken them on holidays with friends but when the crunch comes I can’t quite wear them out. I’ve seen people of all shapes and sizes looking amazing on British and Mediterranean beaches and I still can’t do it.
But now I have 2 daughters and I don’t think I am setting them a very good example. I want them to be body confident – and yet I’m not. I had a mini break-through this year when I wore a bikini in the garden with my girls and – wait for it – actually walked around. No one laughed, no one cried and I wasn’t struck by lightening.
So the next step is to wear one in public (in an appropriate setting of course – not just doing weekly shop in Aldi). As we’re holidaying at home this year I’m just praying it gets warm enough to do without goose bumps!!
Not only is 2020 a big year for me it is also a big one for my husband (and my dad for that matter, but that’s a different story).
Back when we were young whippersnappers aged 40 we made elaborate plans to start saving for our 50th as we were going to go to Nashville and buy cowboy boots and dance in country bars. Then this changed to a trip Disneyland Florida with our girls. Or maybe a long weekend in New York as a family. Or perhaps a weekend in Disneyland Paris….
Well, as you can probably guess. We didn’t set up that savings account. Life just got in the way. Mortgages and broken down cars, broken boilers and a new roof. Sports classes, schools trips, birthday parties, celebrations with friends and family occasions. Throw in a couple of redundancies and a change of career and there wasn’t much left over to save anyway.
But we wouldn’t have it any other way. We’re not going to Nashville but we have the best friends and family in the world. So I just need to find out a way to celebrate at home and give Mr P the best birthday. Which will be a challenge on a cold February weekend ….
But I will buy him a money box to start saving up for our 60th!! 🙂
Now I love camping. Rain or shine I have slummed it with the best of the them. In fact in the early 90’s I travelled around Europe with a rucksack and a 1 man tent, pitching it in some very random locations (the car park at the port of Brindisi anyone? ). I braved Glastonbury for a few years as well without even taking a tent (I knew people with a van so I figured I would be ok if it rained).
But I do love a tepee. Or a bell tent. Or a yurt. Or a safari tent. Whatever you want to call them, I love them. We regularly toy with the idea of buying one but never have the cash. So before I’m 50 I would like to spend the night in one. Preferably one with a big bed and fairy lights. And a fur rug. And a big fire.
And I promise not to keep it all to myself. I might even let Mr P and my darling darlings share it with me ….
It’s very confusing isn’t? I LOVE fashion. Alway have. But at forty eight and three quarters I’m not really sure I know how to ‘do’ it any more.
Mortified at the thought of looking ‘mutton’ but not quite ready to be put out to pasture, I am definitely at a clothing cross-roads. Yes I am overly preoccupied with practicalities – layering is a must (#hotsweats), not to mention sensible shoes (#bunions) – but I’m not ready for elasticated waists and smocks just yet. Actually, that first bit is a lie … I have discovered the most fabulous M&S jeggings. With an elasticated waist. Oh god, I’m already stepping down that slippery slope….
Take workwear. I always knew where I was in the workplace. Tailored suits – trousers or skirts. Navy or black. Well mainly. There was quite a bit of dark brown in the Noughties (I blame Rachel from Friends) and there a shameful incident with a powder blue skirt suit with a short sleeved jacket on my first graduate placement, but I try not to think about that.
For my first promotion to senior management I splashed out on a black wool trouser suit from Jigsaw. It was magnificent. I felt a million dollars in that suit. Pale blue or white blouse. Horn rimmed glasses. Court shoes. I had office dressing nailed. Which was a good thing, as I did spend 70% of my time there.
Then something terrible happened. The ‘Smart-Casual’ dress code. Who the hell came up with that idea?? Presumably someone male who thought it would be ‘cool’ to wear polo shirts and chinos 7 days a week. Which is precisely what the male smart-casual wardrobe amounts to (and maybe a ‘wacky’ T-shirt on a Friday). Not quite so easy for us girls. I had smart or I had casual. I had suits or jeans or going out clothes. None of which now seemed appropriate for the office. So I spend the next few years in some kind of clothing limbo – shirts and trousers, but no heels or jackets. Sort of like a ticket collector, or a store assistant in B&Q.
Then I moved to the Digital world and things got event more difficult. I was in rooms full of beanbags and men with twiddly moustaches and too-short trousers. At the digital conferences I’d sit sandwiched between super-attractive young women in bandage dresses and stripper heels, and CEOs in their 50s with pink hair and Vans. I was increasingly looking like the frumpy mummy I’d fought so hard not to be.
But after that came more change. Redundancy and subsequent self-employment. Freedom from the tyranny of the office dress code! I am now free to sit around all day in my pyjamas if I want (I don’t – my kids would tell me off). So now I have a new uniform – the school-run-mum. Stripy T-shirt, skinny jeans, Converse, pac-a-mac. Sometimes I optimistically wear leggings and trainers, as if I am off for a run or yoga session at any moment (I do neither – but you never know, one day …).
Which is all rather marvellous, but it hasn’t helped with my clothing dilemma. What do I wear when I meet up with clients and want to show them what a dynamic creative woman I am (I am now actually toying with pink hair and Vans)? What about shopping trips? Coffee with friends? Girls’ nights in? Those very rare girls’ nights out? Or the even rarer nights out with Mr P?
I’m rather partial to leopard print. And I have an embarrassingly large scarf collection. But that’s ok, right? I genuinely don’t know any more. I’ve been wearing the same jeans/vest/kimono combo for years now. Aside from the wrinkles, my Facebook photos could be from any night out in the past 5 years.
So, I need to get out of my style rut. There are so many amazing over 40 and over 50 style bloggers and Instagrammers out there – I am in awe of them. The colours, the accessories, the brands, the commitment …. I desperately need some style inspo plus a little confidence injection to help me get my mojo back. Watch this space for more details …
P.S. If you are an over 40’s or 50’s fashion blogger or stylist please contact me!! Seriously, I need all the help I can get 🙂
Yes, I am a business owner. It still feels weird saying that. In fact I rarely say it. I play it down … I do a bit a of freelance work, I just work from home, I have a couple of small clients. But, according to HMRC anyway, I am small business ower. A sole trader. The director of a marketing company.
The irony of poorly marketing myself is not lost on me. I spend my life telling other people how amazing their businesses are – and how to communicate that to the world. Yet I am terrible at following my own advice. Call it what you will – Imposter Syndrome, lack of confidence, fear of failure, fear of success – but something is holding me back.
I’ve always worked my socks off. A law degree took me into the world of finance, where I side-stepped into Marketing, A post grad marketing degree then took me into the w0rld of retail and product management where I embrace every management course going and progressed to senior leadership roles. However, this underlying fear that I was replaceable meant I only allowed myself embarrassingly short maternity breaks (we’ll talk about motherhood another day) and worked myself ragged when I returned. Work dominated my life. I defined myself by my job title. If I was sacrificing so much time away from my family then there had to be a good reason. I had to be doing the right thing.
But there are always bumps in the road. I bounced off my first redundancy from a firm of solicitors. I remember carrying my box of belongings from the office to the pub for an impromptu afternoon drinking session and walked into a new job a week later. The second time I was less resilient. Fifteen years service – I said goodbye to my work family and grieved for several months, despite once again securing a similar job within the first 6 weeks.
But the third time was different. This one was literally out of the blue. I went to a meeting and by the time it had ended my passcode to the building had been revoked and my log-in details deactivated. I was embarrassed and ashamed. For 2 weeks I continued to dress for work every morning to drop the children off at school …. before returning home to an empty house. I was the wrong side of 45 in an industry obsessed with youth. It would be a struggle this time.
However, I was determined to get back on the horse. First of all there wild optimism and I applied for even more senior positions that the one I had just left … people said I had the skills required so why not? But as time went on, I heard nothing. I felt like I was shouting into an abyss – not even being rejected, just ignored. I couldn’t decide which was worse. So I scaled down my ambitions and applied for similar posts – some further away, many on lower salaries. I did get some responses – one role called me back for 5 interviews, with the recruiters eventually telling me that I had come a close second to an internal member of staff. Gee, thanks.
So, with my confidence at its lowest I started applying for more junior marketing roles, on a much lower salary. Here I did get a couple of interviews – mostly out of curiosity I think. I had 2 business owners grill me for several hours to glean as much information as they could from me, before telling me that even though I was by far the best candidate I was too experienced and they were worried I would get bored or leave them. Nice of them to make assumptions on my behalf.
Anyway, this was where things changed. Did I really want to return to these oppressive business environments? Did I want to start from scratch in building up my working relationships and reputation? Did I really want to give up the school runs and after school football and rugby that I had never experienced before and was absolutely loving? No I did not. But I did need to earn some money.
And this is how Millbrook Marketing was born. A small marketing agency providing bespoke support for small businesses. Diverse businesses, run by lovely people that are a joy to work with. And I am so much happier. And my children are so much happier. I think even Mr P may be happier, although he’d never admit it.
However for my business to flourish I need to stop holding back and believing in my self. Believe that I am good enough, that I can do this, that I do have skills that people are prepared to pay for. Who knows one day I may even share my business details on my blog and starting marketing myself!!
50 Things To Do Before I Hit 50 